Remember kids, gender roles are bad
by Oro-han
Summary: Set in their high school years. Gladio, Noct, Prompto, and Ignis play video games and pick on each other, discussing each person's place in their little family.


As the setting sun streamed in through the cracks in the blinds, Gladiolus cheered loudly as he pulled ahead in the race, his onscreen character moving ahead of the other three. "Eat my dust!"

"Not today." Noctis was leaned forward, legs crossed and elbows on knees as he focused on the intense battle, fighting to reclaim the lead.

Ignis was quiet concentration as he waited for his chance to swoop in for victory, and Prompto leaned back and forth as his own character took sharp turns and avoided obstacles repeating over and over, "Come on, come on, come on."

"That's it, just a little further." Gladio leaned forward, grasping the controller in a white knuckled grip as the race drew to a close, the results were going to be close, very close.

Suddenly, from last place Ignis swept in and took victory, causing a series of groans and thrown controllers. "Seriously?" Noct asked, "How'd you even do that?"

"A true master never reveals his secrets." Ignis didn't gloat, he never did, it made the victory all the more devastating.

Prompto had collapsed onto the floor, lifeless, he hadn't won once tonight. "This isn't fair." His words were muffled where his face was pressed into the rug. "No matter what I do, every single time…"

"Winning doesn't count if you're cheating." Gladio said, pointedly not looking at Ignis. "So really, I won."

"It's not cheating to know the ins and outs of the map." Ignis retorted.

"You did not win," Noct cut in, glaring at Gladio. "I had that race in the bag, you were going to lose and we both know it."

"In your dreams, I had a trick up my sleeve." As they argued the doorbell chimed.

"That must be supper." Ignis stood, "I'll get it."

Gladio and Noctis continued bickering as if they hadn't heard the door, and Prompto had rolled onto his back to stare at the ceiling. None of them were going to get up anyway.

The pizza was hot and fresh, and smelled great, but Ignis was sure he could make better. The other three had insisted on ordering out, however, so he had been overruled. Not that he was complaining, he was winning more often than not.

"Let's play a shooting game next." Prompto, sat up, suggesting excitedly. "That new one, we haven't tried it yet."

"Nah, that's not even fair." Noct said, standing to look through his collection, agreeing at least on changing the game by the looks of it. "We're not just going to let you win by playing a game you're good at."

"We'll do teams, I'll take Gladio so it balances out." Prompto bargained.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Gladio's voice was an offended roar.

"It means." Noct explained, the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, "that you suck."

Gladio lunged at Noctis, and the two started wrestling, shoving each other's faces and trying to get the other in a headlock. Prompto laughing and cheering them on.

"That's enough," Ignis raised his voice to be heard over the racket. "How about we eat before the food gets cold?"

Gladio and Noctis separated, making threatening gestures. Prompto giving a disappointed, "Yes, mom." That made the other two laugh and Ignis raise an eyebrow.

"Prompto, I understand that your home life has been less than ideal, but I do not think I'm a suitable replacement for your mother." Ignis explained as he set the plates out on the table.

"Of course you are." Prompto flopped into a chair, grabbing a slice without waiting for anyone else.

"Yeah," Gladio laughed, sitting down next to Ignis, "You're the best mom out there."

"And how, exactly, is that?" Ignis questioned, amused.

"Oh, that's easy." Noctis chimed in, "You know everybody.

"You're up to date on the latest gossip." Gladio added around a mouthful of pizza.

"You pack the best lunches." Prompto reminded.

"You never let anyone skip on homework."

"You cook, and clean better than the maids at the castle."

"Alright, I get it." Ignis held up a hand to stem the tide of reasons he was 'mom'. "Then I suppose that makes Gladio 'dad'?"

"What?"

"Yeah!"

"Duh"

All three of them spoke at once, Gladio looking around in disbelief. "Okay, how am I 'dad'?"

"Is that a real question?" Noct asked, "It's pretty obvious, with your fatherly advice and and getting all 'son I'm disappointed in you' at training."

Prompto laughed, covering his mouth so he didn't spit food everywhere, speaking around a mouth full of food. "He totally does that, and when he's encouraging you it's always that 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' kind."

"Quite so," Ignis agreed, "Let's not forget all the nice things he says about you two only when you're not around. Just like a father, truly an image of masculine strength."

"Awww, you do care." Noctis's said mockingly. "Dad, I feel like we've really bonded."

"I'm going to kill you all." Gladio threatened, but he was laughing too. "Fine, Ignis is mom, and I'm dad, then I guess if we're going by stereotypes," He pointed at Noct and Prompto, "that makes you two our little disappointments?" He stopped, thinking. "Speaking of disappointments, Iris would probably murder all of us if she heard this."

A shudder spread through the four as they considered the repercussions of Iris finding out about their conversation.

Ignis suggested. "Let's never speak of this again."


End file.
